I got a call yesterday from Habitat for Humanity where I volunteer. There's going to be a magazine article (small local magazine) about the local chapter and they want me to be the one the reporter interviews and takes pictures of for the article. I'm pretty psyched about it....not sure what I'll say!
No, not my own personal paranoia. Some lady in front of me in line at Home Depot. Yeah I shop there. A lot of their prices for regular residential wiring products is better because they move a much much bigger volume than a regular electrical-contractors-only supply house. I digress...
This lady wanted to know if there was some device she could plug all her lights into that would make them all turn on and off at random times. To foil potential buglars, who might be taking notes on the times of day her lights turn on and off. Because Ocean's Eleven might be lying in wait to bust into her split level entry ranch and steal her chach-keys.
Just now before pulling into this coffee shop/gas station I was cut off by a gigantic truck with a four wheeler in the back. I was stopped at the lights just before the station, the truck pulled up next to me on the left, the light changed and he floored it, passed me, cut in front across to the right, and pulled into the station in front of me. I'd been intending to get a coffee anyway...but I think it scared him that I pulled in to. He wasn't a gigantically oversized guy, he was a young kind of skinny kid a bit shorter than me. When it all first happened I was a little ticked about it. Seeing the kid and how uncomfortable he was out of his truck really evened out my mood though. He was in this giant truck and driving like a prick because he could do it anonymously and be a big shot. It was like seeing the underdog find his one time to shine and really over-indulge in it. It's a fragile confidence and I wouldn't want to shatter it for him.
I kind of identiy with this movie. The first two pretty much share the same feelings at their core. Being abandoned by the one you love. Possibly being replaced by someone who they come to love more. It's a unique fantasy relationship between toys and their child, but it could parable childrens fear of parental abandonment or possibly a lover fearing they're being replaced. In the end it all works out...in the movie.
My parents, wife, son, and I walked into a used books store on Tuesday. It wasn't very crowded, but it was rather in dis-array with books laying in stacks waiting to be put away all around the shelves.
I worked with Habitat again today, but instead of being part of the group I was in the basement doing the last of the electrical work there. I could hear everyone laughing upstairs. I don't think they were mean really, but it sounded like cruel laughter. Like laughter at someone else's expense. Then it occured to me that maybe when you're lonely and shy, all laughter sounds cruel...and suddenly for the first time that old Doors song "Strange" made perfect sense to me. I'm going to have to get that for my iPod.
My mother called me today to tell my that Shane's name was in the obituary, along with her picture. It was the one she still has up on facebook. She died this week after a short illness the paper said. I know sometimes that's code for something else, but I don't really know.
Delavi posted a question a little while ago, "if your dad couldn't give you away at your wedding, who would you want to give you away?". So I started thinking about that...sounded like a hostage exchange, and as soon as that thought popped into my head a vision of the whole spy-theme wedding was crystal clear. Bridesmaids and groomsmen all armed and aiming at each other Mexican stand-off style. Groomsmen with bullet-belt bandoliers and bridesmaids with an extra derringer hidden in their garters. Traditional "here comes the bride" music as she's led in, arms tied behind her...I was thinking hooded instead of blindfolded, but probably there's a way the hood could be a veil? Yeah probably. The groom is getting interrogated by the minister, who has a big mustache and cigar and speaks with some horrible South American accent. That's where the water boarding comes in. Minister Castro's got his cigar in the grooms face, ashe reads through the marital vows snearing at the groom, then the dunking. "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" DUNK! "To have and to hold?"DUNK! "Do you?" DUNK! "DO YOU?!?" DUNK! (etc.) till finally the groom cracks and says "I do". Not sure how it would go from there... My family would have already left by that point I think.
I did that cheek swab test yesterday to see if I'm compatable to anyone who needs a bone marrow donation. I'm concerned that donating bone marrow will be a horrific painful process performed with a cordless drill and sharpened ice cream scoop, but I'm determined to "man it out" no matter what. I've really got it in my head that I've got to save the world.
Despite numerous automated reassurances, I am becoming increasingly unconvinced that "my call is important to them and will be given the time and attention it deserves, and they will be assisting me momentarily". In fact each time I'm systematically reassured, I become less reassured.
I do find it interesting that they mix it up with different gender/ethnicities to reawaken my attention in case this "new" person is live and not memorex.
Had another dream last night. I found a house in the woods in slight disrepair but with a great feeling of comfort and security about it. Wife and son and I all moved in. Soon I realized the house was some sort of huge slow-eating carnivorous plant who's "lure" was to look like a house and exude comfort. I tried to get us all to leave but we couldn't. We were all being consumed slowly, but relaxed too. I kept it at bay as best I could by drinking whisky, which made me unpalatable. Occasionally while empowered by whisky I would make a break for it or go on the offensive, but was never successful in escaping.
It's monsterously metaphoric. It's not even a subtle metaphor, using "whisky" to symbolically represent "whisky". My brain really has got to try harder to convolute the meanings of dreams.
I saw some kid get off the high school bus today wearing some ridiculous faux fur hat with the ear flaps sticking straight out to the sides. He looked like he was dead certain he was cool, acting like he was indifferent while still being in on the joke of his headwear's absurdity. I imagine he was hyper-conscious of his hat, the way a kindergardener wearing new shoes would walk looking at their feet.
I wonder if on some ten or twenty year reunion his classmates will remember this hat or other props in particular or just have a vague sense of him being a funny clown or remembered as being cool.
I suppose how he's remembered by classmates isn't all-important. I wonder if he, like I, will look back on things like this and groan at how goofy he was.
I hope that the good self-amused feeling he has now will be the same feeling he gets when he thinks back to these days.
But last night I had two!
First one I was back at college, and for some reason naked. Yes! I had the stereotypical "naked in school" dream! I had this idea that college was so open-minded of a setting with everyone free-expressing themselves that it was okay to just show up naked. I was slightly uncomfortable, but overall it wasn't the "traumatic embarassment" dream I think it's commonly portrayed as.
Next one, I went fishing and caught a gigantic fish while Wife who was fishing longer than I didn't catch anything. I wanted to try to help her, but it's just all random anyways, how could I?
And that's about it. I may look into the naked one and see if there's supposed to be some meaning. I don't really believe dreams portend anything at all, but it might say something fun.
Previous PostsArticle, posted October 2nd, 2010
Paranoia, posted July 14th, 2010
Just now, posted July 1st, 2010, 1 comment
Toy Story, posted June 26th, 2010
Story about summer 2009, posted May 1st, 2010, 6 comments
Strange, posted March 24th, 2010, 1 comment
I lost an old friend, posted March 11th, 2010, 2 comments
My next wedding will feature water-boarding, posted February 24th, 2010, 2 comments
Swabbing, posted January 22nd, 2010, 1 comment
On Hold, posted January 13th, 2010
Another dream...so soon?, posted January 11th, 2010, 1 comment
Dumb Hat, posted January 7th, 2010
I scarcely ever dream, posted September 16th, 2009
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